The year is 1743. It's just before dawn on a cold morning in May. The ocean air is heavy and hangs low around the masts and sails at the port of Lagos, Portugal.
The weather app on Charles Columbosino's phone wasn't working, having not been invented yet. He felt the fog would lift by mid-day, once they got away from shore. This, the first and last voyage of the Acadian adventurer's exploratory commission, was ready to set sail and head for the "New World."
Charles and his crew were waiting on one last bit of cargo to arrive, from the Range Rover dealership in Praia de Rocha. Those bastards were always late. Fictitious or not, their disregard for schedules and provable existence was apparent.
Charles could wait no longer, as this story wouldn't have the right vibe if the sun came out. He looked at his iSundial, noting the time as he did constantly while impatient. Even with the fog, he could see that it was already two little scratch marks past the big scratch mark next to the chipped edge on the left. "Fuck 'em" he thought, as he turned on his heel.
The slappity-slap of the Range Rover employee's sandals on the dock echoed off the vessel, and made Charles stop once again and turn toward the late courier.
"I have the package sir! It is to go to New World Range Rover in Boston. I understand It is of little use, but here is the tracking number printed on the top." Nigel said.
Without a word, Charles grabbed the package and heaved it onto the deck of the boat. He hated dudes in flip-flops.
And that friends, is how this stick came to America.
About the product:
- Designed specifically for the 1990-and-a-half Range Rover Classic, the one with the gas struts that were destined to fail on the back window.
- Can hold up the rear glass, the bonnet, or be used to whack things if and when your Range Rover suffers a mechanical failure.
- Very limited edition, hence the "LE" designation.
- A true and authentic Range Rover part, designed and manufactured in England, shaped and sold in Portugal, delivered by flip-flop-Nigel.
- Although originally having a serial number on the stick upper, the number has been worn off by years of travel and use, thus proving authenticity - Only a fake would still have a visible serial number after 200 years.
Material - Wood
- Weight - Not that heavy
- Dimensions - About the size of a big stick
- Warranty - C'mon now
In the box:
- Certification paperwork that we found - unrelated to stick
- 20-30 feral termites
Shipping & frieght
Whoa Free shipping!
We offer free shipping the continental US for order over $300! This obviously excludes super heavy and freight items.
All Items will be shipped as the customer chooses at checkout, and a tracking number will be provided. If there are special delivery instructions, please leave them in the notes.
All items will be properly padded and packed to minimize the risk of damage in transit. However, if a product does arrive damaged, it is up to the buyer to contact the shipper and file a claim, as all products are insured for the amount of purchase.
We do our best to calculate Freight costs at checkout, but to get the most accurate shipping costs we suggest reaching out to us in advance. Over phone or email so we can give you the spot on costs, get more delivery details and make arrangements easier.
We want you to be satisfied! By now we all know we cannot control shipping carriers and delays, but we truly do our best to get your orders as soon as possible. If you have any questions or need assistance place contact us.
GTFO is happy to offer a 30-day refund from the purchase date. Any returned product must be in new condition for full refund. If a product is defective, we will defer to the manufacturer's warranty, and reach out to them on behalf of our customers. The warranty of any product purchased can be found in the product owner's manual or online.
- Buyer must be able to supply original sales receipt.
- There are no refunds on sale items.
- All returned products must be in new condition, and in original packaging
- It is the buyer's responsibility to either bring or ship the product back to us, at their cost before a refund is issued.
- We do not offer refunds on Gift cards
"DON'T LIKE IT" POLICY: If it is found that the product purchased does not meet the needs of the customer, we will absolutely do our best to make it right for the customer. This may include a refund, an alternative product, or other means to create a positive experience for both the customer and ourselves.
"I CHANGED MY MIND" POLICY: So you purchased something online or in the store, and you decided it's not what you actually wanted. No problem! As long as the above conditions are met, we will issue your refund. Please know that we have to charge a 2.95% fee on the transaction, to cover the charges that PayPal/Shopify/Mastercard charge us every time a transaction is made.
WARRANTY: For products that are being returned due to a warranty claim, GTFO will in some cases, replace the product out of dealer stock, and get credit from the manufacturer. However, in some cases, we will have to let the manufacturer of the product send a replacement.